By Steven Norris
Colonel Jeff O’Leary was working with UN Peacekeeping forces in the Sinai Peninsula. He was having tea with a group of men when he noticed that his host kept staring at the man who had come with the guests to tend the camels. After a while, the host spoke up and said, “That man is a camel thief.”
Wondering why someone would hire a camel thief to watch their camels, O’Leary started asking some questions. It turns out that the man was from a family of camel thieves. Why? Because one of their family members had stolen a camel from the host’s family. When? 800 years ago!
For eight hundred years, generation after generation, the host’s family had passed down the story of the camel thief. Forgiveness was not an option for them. In the mind of the host, the crime was just as horrible as if it had occurred yesterday, and this man was just as much a thief as his ancestor who had actually stolen the camel. That is what I call holding a grudge!
To embrace God’s plan for your future, you have to be willing to let go of the past — the wrongs others have done to you. In Matthew 18, Jesus gives some weighty advice about how to deal with someone who has wronged you. It comes to a climax in these words: “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” (vs. 18).
These cryptic verses have been used in many circles to talk about a kind of spiritual warfare where believers have supernatural powers over demonic works. I think that Jesus is being much more practical. Failing to forgive one who has wronged you and choosing to hold a grudge is like trying to follow Jesus while carrying that person piggy-back indefinitely. The number of passengers is equal to the number of resentments we choose to nurse.
“Loosing” is about forgiveness. It is about releasing someone from the obligation that they have towards you as a result of their sin (or their ancestor’s sin). It is about choosing to no longer carry the load of the person’s wrong. It is about refusing to allow them to “live rent free” in one’s head, heart, and soul. As such, forgiveness is as much about the forgiver as it is about the forgiven.
According to Matthew 5, damaged relationships affect our ability to worship God. Jesus says that if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that someone has something against you, leave your gift and first be reconciled with your brother or sister. In Matthew 6 (the Lord’s Prayer), Jesus says that our ability to forgive others has a direct impact on our forgiveness from God.
We were created in God’s image for community. Therefore, grudges, resentments, bitterness, and broken relationships are a reflection of the Fall, not God’s intent for humanity. We cannot move forward and receive what God wants for us if we keep a death grip on all our past hurts and injuries. To live into God’s intent for our lives and to “travel light” on the Way, we need to be unencumbered and free.