By Steven Norris
Recently, my wife and I were visiting some friends in their new house. Built in the 1960s, it was evident that this house had been updated along the way. As we stepped into the master bathroom, jealousy crept in looking at that beautiful walk-in, rainfall shower.
Oddly, however, the newly renovated layout placed the sink and vanity right in front of a window, leaving almost no room for a mirror. Who gets ready for the day or goes out of their house in the morning without at least glancing in the mirror? It was, of course, an easy fix, but it got me to thinking: How often do we take time to “look in the mirror” with other parts of our lives? A relational mirror? A vocational mirror? A spiritual mirror?
A couple of months ago, my staff attended a leadership training conference. Over the two days, at least four different presenters asked some variation of the question: “What is it like to be on the other side of your leadership? Is it inspiring? Frustrating? Intimidating? Comforting? Life-giving? Life-draining?”
I’ve been wrestling with this mirror over the past few weeks, asking my staff for some honest feedback and trying to listen without getting defensive. Is it possible that many of us would benefit from asking similar questions about our closest relationships?
What is it like to be married to you? Does your spouse feel loved and appreciated or taken for granted and overlooked? Are you fluent in speaking his or her love-language? Is your relationship primarily one of grace or judgement? If the roles were switched, would you want to be married to you?
What is it like to be your child? Does your child know that you love them and are proud of them or do they feel like they never measure up to your expectations? Does your parenting style support your child in such a way that they feel safe enough to take risks? When they are grown, have you created an environment to which they want to return for visits?
What is it like to be your parent? To be your co-worker? Your neighbor? Your kids’ teacher at school? To be your server at a restaurant? To drive behind you during the morning commute? To be your friend? To be your enemy? A fellow church member? A fellow community member?
When was the last time that you peered deeply into the mirror of your own heart and soul? The scriptures tell us, “Don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like” (James 1:22-24).
One of my seminary professors was fond of saying that his hope was not to teach us would-be pastors how to read the Bible, but how to let the Bible read us. In addition to listening to those closest to us, maybe we would all benefit from reading the Bible in that way as well.