By Steven Norris
Recently, I came across a video interview of Andrew Greer interviewing the music legend, Amy Grant. In the interview, she shared a little nugget of wisdom that had come from a pastor/mentor who spoke truth into her life at a pivotal moment. I was touched by the advice and wanted to share it with the readers of this column.
“I gonna give you five phrases — easy to remember.” the pastor said. “We’re gonna remember them by how many fingers I’m holding up.”
“How can I help you?” Holding up five fingers, he wanted to remind her of the importance of giving and receiving help. In one of his most famous quotes, Fred Rogers shared a similar piece of advice from his mother. When he saw things on the news that scared him, she would tell him to “look for the helpers.” One of the ways that we might reorient ourselves in times of uncertainty is to look for those that are helping others.
“I’m proud of you.” Four fingers. Who are the cheerleaders in your life? Who reminds you that you are more than your biggest failure and not as great as your biggest triumph? I will never forget listening to one of my professors, Daniel Goodman, talk about his morning routine with his boys. He said that before he would let them out of the car each morning, he made them look him in the eye and told them, “I am proud of YOU.” Note that he did not say that he was proud of their achievements or what they had done. He was proud of each boy for the person he was. I have continued to do that with my boys over the years.
“I love you.” Three fingers. I am increasingly convinced that love may very well be the greatest national deficit our world is experiencing right now. The scriptures are clear that everything hinges on love — the law is summarized by loving God and loving our neighbor. In fact, the scripture teaches that God is love. Embodying love is the key to the kingdom of God.
“Thank you.” Two Fingers. Gratitude reorients our lives and our relationships faster than just about anything. It reminds us that we are the recipients of the investment and work of others. In other words, we didn’t get here on our own. Gratitude is then followed by humility as we see ourselves in relation to others.
“We.” One finger. In a world where division captures our attention, we must remember to ground ourselves in the truth that we are all connected. The African word “Ubuntu” is found in numerous languages and is often translated “I am because we are.” It reflects this sense of interconnectedness in interdependence that defines our world. My family experienced that in our travels to Rwanda and brought it back with us to live out with intentionality.
I encourage you to find your application of each of these five phrases (or your own set of phrases). If you are interested, Andrew Greer will be the guest speaker at an event sponsored by UGA Griffin and the Griffin Historical Society this Sunday, February 22 at the Stuckey Conference Center on UGA Griffin’s campus.